letting go

this is by far the hardest thing i've ever done, but it's a very very good form of discipline. I am trying to block out all thoughts of a certain someone who shall not be named for the sake of prying eyes who will be emotionally scarred for all eternity when i find out that they find out. All i can say is that i have to start disciplining myself all over again every 5 minutes, but i THINK i hit 7 minutes just now, while i was laughing over the gay spiderman emoticon on MSN. It's really really funny, but in the cheap-thrills kind of a way. At least it takes your mind off things, and lets you destress for as long as you keep laughing.
I went to the skin doctor today, and i spent $120 bucks on skin care products. It's kinda shocking, and makes me seem vaguely bimbotic, until you realise that half of that amount was spent on paying for eczema creams, so I am not vain. What IS proof of my vanity is the guess jeans i bought. But THAT was out of sheer desperation, as i don't think i'll be going to australia anytime soon.
You know, people in the fashion industry are doing the silliest of things. They are making jeans out of expandable material! I mean, how dreadful can THAT get? So you either buy these supertight suck-your-tummy-in-and-squirm-in jeans or you end up with loose pants that won't stay at hip level. It's a secret ploy to get us to invest in belts, i tell you. My lovely bubblegum jeans from australia, which fit perfectly SNUG when i first bought it, is now so loose, if i DON'T wear a belt... i can't jump. to put it simply. SO now i actually OWN a belt. Or rather, i have taken my mother's belt hostage.
Hmm. two songs are stuck in my head today, the first being The End of The World, that goes along the lines of WHY, does the sun, go on shining?? Which i learnt from my math teacher, btw. The second has a line in it that goes "cos i'll never be with you" STUPID radio, i am never turning it on again!!
I actually sound vaguely bimbotic and frivolous... you go girl!!